Fall updates 2019 + "Hey, I still blog!"
Fall Updates
Laurel Kinney
(Sam is obviously a handful.)
Figuring it out
Hey friends! Happy Fall! This year has flown by in a blur, right? Someone called me out for not having posted a blog to my website in almost a year, and I couldn't believe it until I went over there and looked. I have been wanting to update y'all but it's seriously been all I can do to keep up with my clients here & on the west coast, the Style Shift Workshop, the new IGTV series I've created & named Laurel TV, my highly educational dating life, and Sam & Penny (my main squeezes).
But now it's fall and the time has come to wrap the year up in a nice little stylish bundle, impart some of the lessons I've learned as they relate to style, and I can't wait any longer. Plus I have to remind y'all to schedule your fall sessions with me before all the goodies have disappeared from the stores, so if you're a NEW CLIENT or a RETURN CLIENT, click on over.
And in the meantime, many of you come to me when you're facing a transition of some sort, and feel a disconnect between the presence you're putting out into the world with your style and the vibe you're feeling inside, so I thought I would speak to that as I too have been undergoing a transition when it comes to entering the dating world. So here's a little bit about what I've been figuring out, and maybe it will ring true for some of you too...
Clearing out the old vibes
One of the most impactful moves I made for myself this year was to clear out my closet. Not in the "does this spark joy?" way, but more in a "does this carry old energy?" kind of way. I found that as the seasons changed and I went for the pieces I used to wear, I was reminded of certain moods, events, and feelings, and some of those distracted me, and kept me in an emotional space I no longer wanted to be in. I ruthlessly cleared out the pieces I felt energetically disconnected with, which is a woo woo way of saying I got rid of all the shit that reminded me of my old relationship. Those sandals I still loved but were worn in millions of photos with my ex are much happier on the feet of my friend Paula, where they can create new emotionally unburdened memories for her.
Pro-Tip: nothing feels more hopeful than a drawer full of sexy new lingerie for that sexy new life you're about to have, right?
Create a vibe to rely on
I find that when I'm passing through a big transition, it helps to not think too much about my clothes. Unless you're the type of person who sees style as a happy distraction, getting dressed can sometimes create more stress if you feel overly burdened by the idea of figuring it out. The rub is that a lot of us find that our style doesn't feel "right" during this time, but we don't really have the clarity or the mental energy to figure it out (of course, this is where I come in). But for me, since I don't have a personal stylist, I leaned hard into the one outfit formula that felt the best to me: monochromatic dressing. Not only did this feel super simple (not a lot of thought has to go into what to wear because you basically just pick one color and put it on) it made me feel more clear-headed, in control of my life, AND helped me exude this kind of cult-leader-esque vibe I think is funny and fitting. This isn't to say it will be boring, either... the other day I literally looked like I was the leader of a blueberry cult.
Pro-Tip: find a formula that simplifies your life, even if it's a simple one like "no skirts or dresses" and see how it feels each day to dress with more decisiveness.
Developing a future muse
The last phase of a style transition is to use what you've learned about yourself through wearing fewer things (because you cleared out all the misaligned vibes and have been relying on your formula based on what's left) and start to visualize your very own FUTURE SELF as your style muse. I've been doing a lot of dating, which helps me hone in on the "what kind of partner do I want?" question, allows for a LOT of vulnerability, and has forced me to dress for dates which are a whole other newsletter in itself. I've realized that I really like spending time with myself, which is a new feeling that emerged after the loneliness of being newly single dissolved and has added a layer of fearlessness to my style choices (because I don't NEED to attract ANYONE, right?). When you meet new people as much as I do (in work and in dating), you can really use your style to set the tone for how you want to show up. My future self has her shit together, has a loving, supportive, self-aware partner and so I think about her when I put on my cheerful monochrome each day, and that helps keep me grounded as I allow for what's next to unfold.
Pro-Tip: Be gentle and patient with yourself here. Your future self muse will emerge slowly if you spend just a little time thinking of him or her each day.
Don't want to do it alone?
I don't blame you! One of my favorite things to do is help you talk through what your ideal future self is like, and figure out what he or she wears. I'm also known to ask my single clients about who they're hoping to attract so I can gather more information to apply to their style. How you dress can be your super-subtle tool for drawing the people, experiences, and energy towards you that you're craving, and it doesn't have to be difficult, or look like what everyone else is wearing.
Interested in learning more? Schedule a Free Style Strategy Call with me and let's talk it out.