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Hitting Bottom (& how to get back up)

Hello from Taos, NM, where I've escaped the uptick of Corona cases, boiling temperatures, and the same four walls I've been staring at for over 100 days in Austin. I've been spending time in nature, with my family, and as I've been telling my friends back home, "crying somewhere else."

I'm positive I'm not the only one who's had a rough few months. The whole world seems to be in one phase of collective grief or another. The past 30 days for me have been the most difficult I can remember. It kicked off with the realization that I may never have the same career again. I made a giant financial goal happen last year, and found this exciting news out on the same day I had to file for unemployment (which I have yet to recieve). Then my best friend in the entire universe, my sweet dog Penny Kinney, died in my arms at the vet after a sudden deterioration in her respiratory condition. Next was the collective realization that we've been living under an incredibly racist system here in America that we can no longer ignore. To top it all off, I managed to bravely put my long held-in feelings out there & got my heart broken, removing the last little shred of brightness I had been clinging to throughout this overwhelming month.

I have gone back and forth in sharing this, but have determined that these are simply the facts of my life right now, and since I finally have the energy to put my thoughts into writing, I felt called to share in the hopes that some of y'all might feel less lonely in your own grief. Plus, I know that when I experience something firsthand, and can speak on it through style, I can be of service to my community, which is more healing than any amount of scream-crying into the empty New Mexican woods.

So, here's to hitting rock bottom, finding yourself again, taking action, and connecting through being real.

Reimagining the Future

The pandemic has forced a lot of us to turn inward. For many of us, our lives changed overnight. Facing mortality, our own intrinsic racism, complete uncertainty about the future, and the loss of many of our usual routines, connections, and escapes that keep us from totally unraveling under stress. But the unraveling is really where it's at (at least this is what I tell myself on my stronger days).

Unraveling means we get to take a deep look at who we are and where we're at in our lives. Are we really living the way we want to be living? Do our actions truly align with our values as human beings? Are we focusing on what's truly important to us? What do we miss the most about pre-pandemic life? What will we keep doing even when things return to "normal?" Will we wear the same things we did before? Has our idea of comfort changed? Have we left behind old ideas we held about our appearance? What makes us feel better when we are all unraveled at the bottom? What makes us feel free?

I find that answering these questions and then collecting images you're attracted to (via pinterest or moodboard) will lead you towards a more authentic vision than just doing one or the other.

Recommitting

I have been answering these questions slowly for myself over the past few months, because I too have been waking up to my true self. Isolation and loss has ushered in a new perspective. Not being able to do as much in-person work has allowed me to see just how important connection is to me (with people and with the clothes). Virtual work comes with certain barriers, and I have realized the importance of working with clients who are invested in self-discovery and reflection as part of the styling process. I don't like sitting at a computer enough to carve out a career of online shoe searches. I want to connect with you on a deeper level, challenge you to dig into who you are and help you see WHY those specific shoes will work for you.

I no longer want to support businesses that aren't committed to social justice, and have been taking note of brands and shops that don't align with these values. Sorry, Anthropologie & Reformation. Because I am committed to providing you with a safe space to explore your truest self, I want to allow for more space for this connection to develop, and I don't see myself working at the same breakneck pace I'd been going at in 2019. Besides, hunting down ethical fashion brands is a part time job in itself at this point!

I'm recommitting to myself and my own values so I can provide a more aligned, meaningful, and valuable service to you. This could mean you may wait longer to work with me one on one, but I think it will be well worth it!

All of my one on one services are now available virtually and/or socially distanced with some shopping-related tweaks. You can also view my virtual offerings HERE.

Support & Giving Back

To this point, I am also committed to supporting causes I believe in, and I will be donating 15% of my 1:1 service fees through the pandemic to the Innocence Project, an organization I've been in support of since my social work school days at Columbia, where I used to advocate against the death penalty. The Innocence Project helps exonerate wrongly convicted prisoners, many of whom are underpriviledged people of color on death row. Not only are BIPOC more likely to be incarcerated in this country, but they are now experiencing an inordinate threat from the corona virus due to the close quarters and lack of access to soap and PPE. I don't think it's right that any person, regardless of what they've done in their lives, should face death because of a system has been set against them (check out this film on Netflix).

Thanks for reading and for your support, y'all. Feel free to make my day & send me a note if this resonates for you.

Stay safe (and sane)!

xo,

Laurel